♥ - i will not break, EVER.

i was broken but never defeated .

Thursday, January 28, 2010 @ 1:22 AM

“»why do I feel so empty? i’m crying out for some stability. destroy my many insecurities.. i’m breaking down somebody pray for me.”

destiny’s child.

i don't know if theres anyone that can honestly relate to my situation right now. i'm feeling completely lost in this transition. one moment we're on point and the next minute we're off track. these past few days i've been trying my best to stay positive and shake off these doubts. somehow i managed to swallow my pride, keep my mouth shut and keep moving forward because i thought that by now i wouldn't still be tripping over silly things. but i guess i'm wrong, and now i don't know what i'm really waiting for. now it's become a daily routine .. slowly but surely i'm learning to keep everything inside. The more that time passes the more i'm getting better at avoiding my conscious.. *sigh.

i want to get things straighten out for me.. every thing’s so confusing.. only five people know how i really feel right now. my older brother, richie, carolyn, rebecca, and of course my boyfriend. i absolutely adore you guys!

so today, me and my boyfriend had the worst day ever, we consistently kept arguing about the stupidest things. and whats worse was that everytime we solved one thing, another greater bullshit would happen. so the saying is true, you honestly really do have to go through the stormy weather to get to the sunshine. now that i'm at this destination i'm happy enough to be riding with the windows down beside him. though he isn't perfect .. and not everything went smooth .. it still managed to work out in the end - which is what matters in the end. i love you truly, madly, deeply :)