what would you do if you were in my shoes? i used to think that everything was smooth sailin' .. slow and steady - but then i realized the anchor that was weighing me down was the loud conscious voice of doubt. Yet for almost 2 months i've been letting everything flow, thinking that time woud interwine and untangle this puzzle i have around my faith. sometimes i feel like killing myself cause I'm so used to being hurt, and here you are telliing me that im different, i changed.. i need foundation - substance - i need something to hold onto and reassure me that you're still here for me, holding on too- as tight as i am. we leave so many things unsaid ... hoping that both of us will read each other's mind, true? but i'm not phsyic .. i'm emotionally exhausted. time has been ticking and though the feelings have grown stronger, i feel like this gap is getting bigger .. this distance between us. what's going on? everythings flashing right before me, right before i can see it happen. all the sweet things you do for me doesn't amount to all the times i've have. im sorry .. i'm seriously sorry. why did i have to break that promise? i wish you did understand where i was coming from and why i did it though .. but even so, there shouldn't have been a broken promise in the end. i should've stayed strong, instead i've fallen.. i wish i could just prevent it or something , but that's clearly impossible. because the fact that you're gone, isn't, can't, and won't change. it literally touches my heart each and everytime I think of you. i don't know how many times I've thought about it everynight. i feel so empty. I feel like.. i just don't know what to do. i just wish it never happened. i just wish.. If only. If only this, if only that.. It won't happen. Frig FUCKK...

-refresh-