Wednesday, March 14, 2012 @ 6:55 AM

OFF BLOGSPOT - ON TUMBLR

Saturday, April 24, 2010 @ 9:47 PM

ONTO THE NEXTTTT ONEEE MORE FISH IN THE SEAAA ,
OKAY SO , THANKS TO ABBY <3 I FINALLY LEARNED HOW TO USE TUMBLR.
FOLLOW ME ON TUMBLR

http://jvbaby.tumblr.com

HAPPY 420 ! :)

Tuesday, April 20, 2010 @ 11:54 PM

Never would've thought you'd bring tears of joy to my eyes ever again. But you did, i dont know how but you did. Having constant faith in you regardless of what they said, really did pay off. im literally dying of happiness, just knowing that apart of the boy i once fell in love with, is still there.

the last song - i must see this movie !

Friday, April 16, 2010 @ 1:32 AM

this really reminds me of you and me, i love you.
I am thankful to have you :)

can you love me when it hurts ?

Tuesday, April 13, 2010 @ 6:15 PM

can you take me telling you the truth when i know the situation is shadiest? will you believe when i say, i'm sleeping alone. So before we get into the things that we shouldn't do, ima need your undivided attention. cause theres fantasies and reality, baby which one are we living in? When it hurts, will we still be the same two lovers, all over each over? When it hurts , will we still see what we got together ? promise that we'll never, never ever be temporary. not another ordinary. we should change people's definition of love. so forget what you heard, the only way that this will work .. is if you love me when it hurts. can you love me when it hurts? i dont wanna blend in with every other relationship thats been falling in and out. there'll be times that we let each other down and on the days that you aint feeling me .. will you be able to stick around ? cause anything worth having is worth fighting for. If we really want this thing to work, we gotta go to war. baby, im in this thing. i mean we're in this thing. but through the tears will you still be here ? I still wonder where in the world your heart is.. for all i know, we could be miles apart. and i want to hear your voice again, and i cant get over how i miss your love. and i miss you more than words can say. my heart continuously beats, but it hurts more and more everday.im sorry for, just being wrong. im sorry for, the way that we've become. but im definitely not sorry for the way i've been feeling.i dont know where you are, and its driving me insanely crazy . where could you be ? i just want to hear your voice saying to me that you need me. cause i need you. and i miss you. im sorry ..

reminiscing

@ 9:46 AM

reminiscing is always cute, especially last night. couldn't help but smile while going through our old chat logs. we were cute. and i miss you more than ever. our cute late night conversations, your stupid jokes, and especially our never-ending arguments. I've tried everything possible to keep you off my mind last night. But even with all the handful of distractions, my mind eventually wanders off to thoughts of you. Am i foolish for still having hope at this point ? Hope that one day, soon enough, you'll finally come around and realize that what you do, really does affect how i feel. Wishful thinking ... i know it ends up in a complete disappointment. I honestly want to give us another try, but at the end of the day, its not up to me to make it happen. And seeing how its in your hands .. perhaps it really wont be going anywhere. so why continue waiting for the impossible ?

awewiejwafw

Monday, April 12, 2010 @ 7:13 PM

deuce on me for believing you've changed for the better . i honestly cant believe a single word that comes out of your mouth anymore, seeing how its always contradicted . im honestly so furious with you this time around . this constant bullshit wears me out . i am so done.

first smile, in a while.

Thursday, April 8, 2010 @ 2:02 AM

im happy to say, that perhaps, i've found my smile again. There wasn't anything i wanted more than resorting back to my care-free life. As of now, im going to enjoy this sense of happiness, and never again will i let my guard down as easily. never.

cutest thing

Sunday, April 4, 2010 @ 1:50 AM

this is the cutest picture ever :)

CODMW2 NUKE

Thursday, April 1, 2010 @ 11:50 PM

THIS SHIT IS MY LIFEE , LMFAAO.

DON'T BOTHER READING THIS. IT MAKES NO SENSE... to you.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010 @ 3:43 AM

i gotta stop living in this fantasy world of mine, where everything in my life is perfect and i have everything i've ever wanted. I find myself drifting into my dream world at times, somehow integrating it into reality. I know that makes no sense. I need to snap back to reality , and realize what's happening with my life. wake up janette, everyones disappearing while your in lalaland.

Im feeling so much better today.

Monday, March 22, 2010 @ 2:24 AM

You see it all in my smile. You hear it all in my laugh. The way I walk, you hear me talk and know that i'm no longer sad. I got no reason to smile more now than I've ever had. I open up my eyes and realize that nothing's quite that bad. I know about down and out, i know about when it gets tough. Losing my fight, cant see the light. And times when i just wanna give up. I know about being depressed by needing someone to love. Then again, I also know about standing up and saying enough is enough. So now i've got a different approach to dealing with emotion. Keeping control of my boat, while drifting on this ocean. Keeping my head to the sky, keeping tears out of my eyes, unless happiness be the reason that I decide to cry. It's cause life's too short to dwell on all that's wrong. I'm feeling so much better today.

It’s hard to say what it is i see in you

Friday, March 19, 2010 @ 2:11 AM

wonder if i’ll always be with you
words can’t say it, i can’t do
enough to prove, it’s all for you.

wishing

@ 1:18 AM

OMG

Tuesday, March 16, 2010 @ 3:21 AM

OMG I FAINTED TODAY WHEN I WENT WITH MATTHEW TO GET HIS EYEBROW PIERCED ..
HOLYFUCKING SHIT , IT FELT LIKE I WAS SUPER DUPER HIGH ABOUT TO DIE..
I SAW BUBBLES OF COLOURS AND FELT LIKE SOMEONE WAS DRAGGING ME DOWN TO DIE..
HOLYY SHIIITTT .. LOOL ..
& i still want my tongue pierced bitchessssssss

whats happening..?

Thursday, March 11, 2010 @ 7:54 PM

so i lie on the grass,
staring up the sky;
wondering what the hell is happening with my life.

fill in these blank days ..

Tuesday, March 9, 2010 @ 1:20 AM

i find myself blank these days. no emotion, no thoughts. i feel like a damn robot sometimes. when people tell me stories , i get the feeling they want me to share too. One problem, i have nothing to say.. all i can do it listen. clearly, my life sucks. AHA . i just listen to music and learn lyrics to fill the empty-ness in my head. i can't say i am happy, nor can i say that i am sad. life is okay . actually life is pretty good , it's just when I see other people's lives ,
i look down on mine.

give me a second go ..

Sunday, February 28, 2010 @ 9:52 PM

give me a second go, dont let me go alone
you saw me at the worst, you caught me falling first
all i wanted to know, give me a second go ..

im a prisoner of love.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010 @ 3:58 PM

i haven't felt this way in a long time. the feeling of being free. i love it but i hate it at the same time. by now , i dont really know how im suppose to feel about you. once you have me back at you, you do something to ruin it. this isn't even faith, faith's telling me we should seperate. like we're not even together and we still go through bullshit arguments. does that make any sense ? im tired of hurting, assuming the impossible, hearing sorry and seeing promises be broken. this happens so many times that i dont even know how to handle it anymore, im gonna crack...

IM TIRED OF WAITING FOR YOU TO CHANGE. IM TIRED OF GIVING IN MY ALL IN THIS RELATIONSHIP AND GET NOTHING IN RETURN. I WISH YOU WOULD GROW THE FUCK UP AND HANDLE MY FEELINGS SERIOUSLY. YOU ALREADY KNOW HOW MY LIFE IS GOING AND YET YOU HAVE NO FUCKING SYMPATHY IN HOW I FEEL.

I WISH THIS I WISH THAT, YOUR NOT EVER GONNNA REALIZE...

go on boy .. i'll be fine ..

Monday, February 22, 2010 @ 5:22 PM

SHE THINKS ABOUT YOU NONSTOP AND YOU'RE ALL SHE TALKS ABOUT. WHEN SHE TALKS TO YOU SHE ALWAYS HAS THAT GOOFY SMILE AND SHE TRULY LOOKS HAPPY. WITH ONE HUG, YOU MAKE HER MELT AND YOU ALWAYS LEAVE HER WITH BUTTERFLIES. BUT AT THE SAME TIME, WHEN SHE'S UPSET IT'S USUALLY BECAUSE OF YOU, BUT SHE REFUSES TO SEE ANY BAD IN YOU. AND NO MATTER HOW MANY PEOPLE TRY AND TELL HER DIFFERENT, SHE BELIEVES YOU'RE PERFECT FOR HER AND WORTH EVERY SECOND OF THE WAIT. BUT SHES TOO SCARED TO TELL YOU ANY OF THIS BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T WANT TO SCREW ANYTHING UP AND DOESN'T WANT TO END UP HURT.

but now ...

GO AHEAD. 'CAUSE I’M DONE WITH CHASING AND CARING FOR PEOPLE WHO NEVER HAD INTEREST IN ME. NOTHING LASTS AND PEOPLE CHANGE. I’VE LEARNED LOVE IS HARD AND LIFE IS STRANGE.

okaaay okaays , im currently at a friends house using the computer because i dont have one at home anymore. so from now on, my life is a on going same shit routine, school then straight home. i guess this was the life i chose. no family or friends to really talk to, espcially now that my computer is gone, im really lonely. it shatters my heart to pieces to know that we’re no longer intertwined like before; you used to be one of those boys i could trust with my life. we were the greatest of friends, i relied on you and I guess I could say you relied on me too. It hurts to know that we no longer connect like we used to, words are no longer exchanged… What hurts me even more is that those occasional conversations to check up on each other no longer exist, our friendship no longer exists.. but no matter what, I’ll love you, and whenever you need me, I’ll always be here. kinda wish i never fell in love with you, because now im stuck, between these four walls. and now that you're gone, it feels like the walls are crashing in on me.. baby its killing me.. the fact that your gone, its killing me.. i tried to play it cool in school today, shit, how am i suppose to last my WHOLE high school life without you seeing you everyday.. i wish i never fell as hard as i did, because maybe now it wouldnt hurt as much.. but i gotta manage to stay strong right? afterall, time will only tell. time is all i need..

now all i got are these photographs, all i got.

Sunday, February 21, 2010 @ 10:10 PM

i will not break.

wish i had ..

Monday, February 15, 2010 @ 3:26 PM

all i want and need is your

support .

i wanna escape.

Thursday, February 11, 2010 @ 9:22 PM

I believe one of the toughest situations you can be ever faced with is deciding whether you should just move on or hold on a little tighter. Move on, and maybe you'll lose a chance at the best thing that could have ever happened, or hold on and have the possibility of your heart being broken.

no matter what happens , im going to take it. if im not happy, im going to fake it. if you got my trust, dont lose it, and if you got my love, dont abuse it. why am i even doing this ? in the end i know imma get hurt, but why am i doing this to myself ? youre the one that makes me smile and hopefully those smiles wont become tears. im so scared but yet i know ill regret if i dont try. hopefully things wont end up how they did before.

it's a shame that what we had faded so fast. & it's too bad the moments we had didn't last as long as i wanted it to. cause really, things can't go back to the way they used to be, and all i wanted was to have that reassurance that i'd have you there for me. it sucks, i honestly thought we had potential but now that i see it, you were never an essential. when I had rough days, you weren't there for me. not only physically, nor emotionally, but in so many ways. i told you about my situations, you replied back by saying "dont be sad" which brought me to more frustration because i need more advice than that to make me feel better. all in all, i'm starting to see the real you; come to think of it, you should really consider fixing yourself up, boo. i wanted you.. but when it comes down to it, i dont want someone that wont want me back, im not gonna need someone that wont need me back, i need someone that feels the same way that i do. you made an impact on my life in such a huge way. how did this happen to me? i fall out so fast in such a short period of time. from now on, i aint gonna be looking at you, i'm gonna be looking passed you.

dont cry hater. i forgive, now go and do your own thing and get off my dick.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010 @ 9:33 PM

im fixing back the broken pieces i've made.

slowly, but surely.

i need to convey.

runaway love

Monday, February 1, 2010 @ 7:30 PM

i need to balance myself, i need to cope with situations like this both mentally, emotionally, and physically. this is the point in my life where things change, transition happens, people leave from my world. special people, that mean the most to me.. everyone goes through this right ..? nope. just me. nobody knows how i feel or who i am until they've been through what i've been through. so i recently just had an huge argument with my older brother, yessss the closet big brother i have in this whole family of six. well basically.. im not considered his sister anymore and that he doesn't care about me, doesn't wanna talk to me, dosen't want anything to do with me.. kind of like how my bestfriends and parents abandon me. now, i feeel like i truly have no one to run to to be truly happy.. it feels really lonely. i dont have anyone anymore. i've decided to not go home, or you can say "runaway", i dont know how long, but i sure dont want to be in that house anymore. im staying at my boyfriends right now, but only for a couple of days.. then i dont know where im heading next. im in this myself now.

common world, hit me with your best shot. i'd rather die then feel lonely.

i wasnt fast enough to catch up to you .. dont leave me completely ..

Friday, January 29, 2010 @ 6:45 PM

thrrrooowwwbaack grade eight - the past doesn't even compare to the present. i love this girl till death do us apart.

werider than werid

Thursday, January 28, 2010 @ 10:31 PM

i’m going through weird right now, and there’s nothing i can do about it, unless this situation just goes away. anyways, i’ve been wierded out lately, and i just want to be a nicer person?

im sorry im so moody everyone, under alot of bullshit stress.

i was broken but never defeated .

@ 1:22 AM

“»why do I feel so empty? i’m crying out for some stability. destroy my many insecurities.. i’m breaking down somebody pray for me.”

destiny’s child.

i don't know if theres anyone that can honestly relate to my situation right now. i'm feeling completely lost in this transition. one moment we're on point and the next minute we're off track. these past few days i've been trying my best to stay positive and shake off these doubts. somehow i managed to swallow my pride, keep my mouth shut and keep moving forward because i thought that by now i wouldn't still be tripping over silly things. but i guess i'm wrong, and now i don't know what i'm really waiting for. now it's become a daily routine .. slowly but surely i'm learning to keep everything inside. The more that time passes the more i'm getting better at avoiding my conscious.. *sigh.

i want to get things straighten out for me.. every thing’s so confusing.. only five people know how i really feel right now. my older brother, richie, carolyn, rebecca, and of course my boyfriend. i absolutely adore you guys!

so today, me and my boyfriend had the worst day ever, we consistently kept arguing about the stupidest things. and whats worse was that everytime we solved one thing, another greater bullshit would happen. so the saying is true, you honestly really do have to go through the stormy weather to get to the sunshine. now that i'm at this destination i'm happy enough to be riding with the windows down beside him. though he isn't perfect .. and not everything went smooth .. it still managed to work out in the end - which is what matters in the end. i love you truly, madly, deeply :)

donald duong tran ♥

Tuesday, January 26, 2010 @ 1:41 PM

donnyspeaks: “beautiful girls, all over the world, i should be chasing but my time would be wasted, they got nothing on you babyyy”

im still chasing pavements

@ 12:42 AM

i could have done better for the sake of our relationship, and too keep this relationship strong. my eyes were taped as if i was shunned away from all of this, protecting my heart as if i will never get hurt in the end, because i was really, really trying to make myself happy, and that’s all i ever thought about. i never wanted to be the one that got hurt in the end, because i only thought about myself. for that, i am selfish.

rant: i have so many pimples from everything thats happening in my life , i barely eat & my eyes look like a racoon :( aahhhhhh ..

my whole blog is for you. i hope you know who you are.

Friday, January 22, 2010 @ 2:31 AM

different day , same shit

Wednesday, January 20, 2010 @ 1:06 AM

what would you do if you were in my shoes? i used to think that everything was smooth sailin' .. slow and steady - but then i realized the anchor that was weighing me down was the loud conscious voice of doubt. Yet for almost 2 months i've been letting everything flow, thinking that time woud interwine and untangle this puzzle i have around my faith. sometimes i feel like killing myself cause I'm so used to being hurt, and here you are telliing me that im different, i changed.. i need foundation - substance - i need something to hold onto and reassure me that you're still here for me, holding on too- as tight as i am. we leave so many things unsaid ... hoping that both of us will read each other's mind, true? but i'm not phsyic .. i'm emotionally exhausted. time has been ticking and though the feelings have grown stronger, i feel like this gap is getting bigger .. this distance between us. what's going on? everythings flashing right before me, right before i can see it happen. all the sweet things you do for me doesn't amount to all the times i've have. im sorry .. i'm seriously sorry. why did i have to break that promise? i wish you did understand where i was coming from and why i did it though .. but even so, there shouldn't have been a broken promise in the end. i should've stayed strong, instead i've fallen.. i wish i could just prevent it or something , but that's clearly impossible. because the fact that you're gone, isn't, can't, and won't change. it literally touches my heart each and everytime I think of you. i don't know how many times I've thought about it everynight. i feel so empty. I feel like.. i just don't know what to do. i just wish it never happened. i just wish.. If only. If only this, if only that.. It won't happen. ~~Frig~~ FUCKK...

...?

Tuesday, January 19, 2010 @ 3:35 AM

trying gets me no where ..
why dont you just stab me ?
the pain you put me through everytime
is just the same.

alone in a world full of people.

Monday, January 18, 2010 @ 5:45 AM

I've never pictured life's greatest struggles to be so brutal. Never had I imagined travelling down a road with no end, where with every corner I turned, there arose another path. The faster I walk to get to the end, the longer the road seems. Every morning brings me to a road that I don't want to travel, and with every step I take comes new found discoveries. Some unable to withstand, and some makes me hate the day for what it's been. But I've got no choice but to keep going down the road, wondering what new found obstacle will come my way, hoping that whatever it is I find, it won't cause me to lose my mind. I have dreams, in hopes that if they come true it'll make my life better than what it seems . Dreams that help me to forget the pain even for just a little while . Dreams that will keep me going down the path, dreams that help me endure another mile. I face the hatred of everyone who expected better of me. The shame of the ones who can't accept who I've become. Everyday, becomes a harder day... But I have to get a grip because when your alone in a situation, who better to count on then yourself?

- goooddniiighhhht bloggers , yours truly ..

i'm not waiting for you to pull the trigger anymore— i'm pulling it myself.

@ 3:18 AM

the only people worth fighting for in life are the people who are willing to fight for you.

i used to think that things would change, that if i kept holding on, maybe things would be the same. but i've let go of that hope and i've snapped back to reality. you're a-okay without me, and it seems like you dont need me as a bestfriend anymore. 'everything changed for a reason , i need to find that reason and accept it .' no matter how hard it is .. just fake a smile. wish every step i take, Could erase all the pain. i'd do anything to bring us back to new. gotta get closer. would build a bridge, just to get over the river that you cried , but you're unreachable. the travel seems so pointless now because you made it clear. from the memories i had, but threw away that i can't get back.. i can't get back. there's no recover for my mistakes. when I reach out, i realize it's too late, you're a thousand years away. i just cant do all, all of this All too everything i am i don't know how or where i am, i just wanna get back to you, i want you too , i do , i need you to know that i.. i'm so far away ..

flash right before me

Saturday, January 16, 2010 @ 5:24 PM

this whole month & the last, i haven’t focused on anything, but today.. i’m fucking going lose and insane.. this is not where i should be. i’ve been missing out on things and mourning too much.. there’s too much grief in my heart and so much cluster in my mind. i want to break something, or kill myself.. but you know that’s not a healthy thought, so here i am.. writing… everything i feel, love to do this because i know no one has time to read every single thing that i write and understand how i really feel inside. if you are reading, thanks.. but you still won’t understand how much more it’s fucked up in my shoes, through my eyes, and try to process these things on a daily bases. since that day - december 2, 2009, everything was fucked up, and nothing’s been the same. my life has just made a 359, and i don’t think things will be good for a while. i’m so full of hatred right now, i want to just break something… honestly, i don’t know how many times i have to stress that. i fucking miss you guys a lot. nothing ever can compare to the fucking pain that goes through my mind and heart when i think of the good times. Hide those feelings inside . So stupid , making things worse. just wish i can just like fuckin smarten up and take in and actually listen to other people's opinions and not cause problems. in fact, i wish i was smarter on these things. i hate this. i hate what i've been acting like with them. I'll try to make things better.

ima stick wit you

Thursday, January 14, 2010 @ 2:37 AM

" stick with the guy that refuses to let you get off the phone and leave him alone when you say you're going to sleep. The one that makes you smile at almost everything he says, even when it’s not even near ‘funny’. The one that listens and doesn’t get mad, instead gives you something to learn from. The one you feel comfortable with even on one of your ugly days. The one that constantly makes you feel beautiful whenever you’re insecure. The one that doesn’t compare other guys to himself for you. The one who makes you feel good about yourself. The one that knows he has your heart and won’t take advantage of it. The one that knows what he has and would risk losing you to some other guy cause he knows & trusts your instinct that you’ll come back. The one that doesn’t refer to you as “sexy”- except for when he’s horny cos that’s an exception! The one that isn’t afraid of singing to you on the phone even though he’s not that great. The one that still texts/ talks on the phone with you while playing Call of Duty or watching basketball . "

big girls dont cry

Wednesday, January 13, 2010 @ 1:19 AM

Cancer: You may feel out of step with the people in your immediate environment now, not in harmony with the intentions and desires of those you work or live with. Relationships, especially professional ones, can be tense, especially if you attempt to work your own will. This is not a time to force issues.

today wasn't the greatest , i had to see the principle before school started to get a tracking sheet :( , and i fucking started balling my eyes out explaining my reasons as to why im not going to school .. urgh , she made me see my guidance counselor and talk .. made me tear even more.. anyways, im tumbling down again. its like i take five steps forward and then ten times back. k i really need to stop complaining about everything and get the fuck up , stop crying , and fucking do something about this.

♥ : thank you for everything. everything happens for a reason. and through all the bullshit that happened, that i've been through, that WEbeen through.. you're still here .

no matter what

Tuesday, January 12, 2010 @ 1:06 AM

" when your world falls apart , and you’re lost in the dark …who can you run to ? your friend and your lover. There isn’t going to be anyone else who can ever understand you like I do . so when you realize you need the one you said good-bye to ? look over your shoulder; you know i’d be there no matter what . i know we all have our down falls, to go up you must reach the bottom . but how far have i fallen, i've lost so much inspiration and motivation, feels like nothing is really working itself out for me, i need to turn negative energy into something more positive . or else the way i keep moving will really stop me. it hurts to see yourself hit rock bottom and hurts even more when you dont know how to get back up, i guess i just really need those people that make me feel positive about what i do, to really remind me. because i feel alone, and it sucks.. who knew this would ever happened for me. the thing that used to make me feel so good, has me doubting myself. "

BOYFRIEND LOVES GIRLFRIEND :)

Monday, January 11, 2010 @ 12:04 AM

HIIIII WIFEEY ;D YU LOVE MW2 DONT YOUU DONT YOU DONT YOU DOTN YOU WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE 1 2 3 I LOVE YOU BABYYIEEEEE ;DD
- from tommy phu

let the good times roll

Sunday, January 10, 2010 @ 9:58 PM

omg , today was the first in like 89137102 years that i went tobogganing/sledding. went with salina, sally, kenny & stephen. WE HAD TO USE CARDBOARD BOXES , and everyone there had like these high tech plastic ones >:( LOL . urgh okaay so i went on this long one with sally & stephen , and i was at the back ... somehow when we were going down , it turned so we were going backwards, and then they all friggin fell on me :( . hardtimes, my leg still hurts. & POOR KENNY HE FELL OFF HIS BOX AND HE ROLLED ALL THE WAY DOWN & SALINA WHEN SOME GUY DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO CONTROL HIS SLED CRASHED INTO HER WHEN SHE WAS COMING BACK UP LMFAOOO. oh man , i wanna go again with real sleds this time LOL.

on a different note though .. my boyfriend introduced me to call of duty mw2 , fuck , im in love witht that game.. & speaking of my boyfriend I MISS HIM ;$ ,

hacked by tommyphuu

Saturday, January 9, 2010 @ 8:01 PM

iloveyou<3 baby your my whole world and i cant even keep you out of my mind its so damn fucking hard ;O . i set my life to you and i cant imagine you COMPLETELY OUT OF MY LIFE ! lalalala miss you ):

- RAWRILY ;D TP.

accept change

Thursday, January 7, 2010 @ 8:18 PM

okay, so since i kinda stole patrick's blog layout. i felt like a bitter, so i made my own :D !

everyday's becoming more and more like a routine. stop me from crawling out of life cause that's all i've been doing for the past couple of days. how do we start from being so good and end like this - i wish among so many stars hoping that all my dreams will come true. and you the star. i've been so weak and fragile. can't stand on my own and been falling ever since. tumbling over little fights that rolled into unbearable battles. no more excuses because i don't wanna feel delay. i want to fast forward and throw my stubborn and mulishness away, and focus on the people who'll be beside me. i haven't really envision that life is too short to be mad. things change everyday so realizing what i have when i have it should be appreciated to skylimits now. you never know what you have until it's gone. how much of an impact they made on you. from now on, i'll know what i have. and most definitely wont try anything to lose what i have. like for instance my brother , when im talking to him embracing every word he gives to me. he's a blessing to me because he's been the only person who held me down when the world gave up on me. now that things changed, im just gonna have to accept change. booyyyyy .. i wish everything was back to normal, when i was actually happy.

letting go of the past...

Wednesday, January 6, 2010 @ 2:12 AM

To let go of the past isn't to just forget, not to think about, or ignore. It doesn't leave feelings of anger, jealousy, or regret. Letting go of the past isn't about winning or losing. It's not about pride and it's not about how you appear, and it's not obsessing or dwelling on the past. Letting go of the past isn't blocking memories or thinking back at the harsh times, and doesn't leave emptiness, hurt, or sadness. It's not about giving in or giving up. Letting go of the past isn't about loss and it's not about defeat. To let go of the past is to cherish the memories, to overcome and move on. It is having an open mind in confidence for the future. Letting go of the past is learning, experiencing and growing. To let go of the past is to be thankful for the experiences that made you laugh, made you cry, and made you grow. It's about all that you have, all that you had, and all that you will soon gain. Letting go of the past is having the courage to accept change, and the strength to keep moving. Letting go of the past is growing up. It is realizing that the heart can sometimes be the most potent remedy. To let go of the past is to open a door, to clear a path and set yourself free from hell.

my feelings.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010 @ 11:56 PM

If what you want is us, then what i want is trust.
communication and commitment,
prove to me that you're different - please.

Every relationship has it's bruises, open wounds that we hide beneath the hope that things will eventually get better. Some carry cuts that still sting to this very day, while others unguardedly wear their scars wide open. Every relationship, no matter how innocent, will always have it's secret. Behind every smile is a conscious questioning exactly how happy you are. With sacrafice comes progress, you lose are part of yourself so you can share it with someone else. Regardless of whether you're the type to wear your heart on your sleeves, or the type that's built a wall around to protect what's left of your heart.. Once love touches you it never really never leaves. It imprints itself everywhere in you. It's an internal reminder of the laughs, tears, joy and pain, whether you wish to forget or not - you can never deny them. Through your veins runs the memories whether you hate them or love them - you can nevery deny them. Many of us try to fight what's already inside of us because it's hard to accept that something you held in the highest degree could actually be over - but to every situation is a silver lining. Instead of dwelling on mistakes, on the heartache, on the unfamiliarity of a new found love - we should come to appreciation that we were able to witness, to experience something greater than ourselves - to love is a true blessing. Don't carry on past judgements, disappointments and bitterness. It will only hold you back and disguise what true happiness is. The more we emphasize and deterier what we seek for - the harder it is to find it. Instead, walk hand in hand with what you learned - come to the realization that better things lie ahead. Whatever we carry, phsyically or emotionally - let it be a tribute that we still stand, as believers and survivors that it is not the end. When one door closes, another door opens. And for everything that is lost, something else is gained. Because after all, you will love more than once in your life - but you will only have one love of your life.

just something i learned..

@ 2:56 AM

one thing i'll never do is,
break someones heart because i know how bad it hurts..
honestly, i'd rather have my heart broken than someone else's.
just something i learned.

heart

Monday, January 4, 2010 @ 3:46 AM

its the little things .

bonjour new year '10

Sunday, January 3, 2010 @ 6:07 AM

this year i'm not gonna try approaching anything new with changing myself.. i think i've made a great tranformation this year and i like who i am. And the people who've stuck by me this year show me they like who i am aswell so i think i'm great from where i stand. But for 2010, I'm just going with the flow, "live life to the fullest" as everyone says. As fun as 2009 was, and experiencing new things with my girls&boys; 2010 is definatly gonna be much better. I'm down to taking greater risks and not giving a flying fcuk about what people think. So to end it off, thanks to everyone who has my year a good one. I'm sure you guys will continue this throughout next year :)
xoxo, jaaaaaaaanettte